>

>The Darwin Awards are given to those who, by virtue of heroic acts of

>stupidity, endeavour to remove themselves from the gene pool.

>

>

>Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are

>bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious

>winners:

>

>

>

>1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim

>during

>a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did

>something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried

>the trigger again. This time it worked.....  And now, the honourable

>mentions:

>

>

>

>2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting

>machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his

>insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men

>to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.

>The chef's claim was approved.

>

>

>

>3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during

>a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken

>the space. Understandably, he shot her.

>

>

>

>4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver

>found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from

>Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the

>driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free

>ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the

>staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.

>The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

>

>

>

>5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head

>wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the

>injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he

>could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

>

>

>

>6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,

>and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled

>a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly

>provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20

>bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.

>(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

>

>

>

>7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

>he'd

>just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze,

>and

>run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the

>window.

>The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,

>knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas.

>The

>whole event was caught on videotape.

>

>

>

>8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed

>her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able

>to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the

>police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to

>the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there

>for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's

>the lady I stole the purse from."

>

>

>

>9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger

>King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.

>The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash

>register

>without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they

>weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

>

>

>

>******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

>

>

>

>10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

>Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at

>the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near

>spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to

>steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage

>tank

>by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that

>it was the best laugh he'd ever had.